Tackling Abortion the Christian Way

Over the years, there have been morality battles on if abortion should be accepted or not. In Nigeria, abortions are illegal due to different reasons, with the main cause attributed to our various religious beliefs. The strong belief that, it is morally wrong to intentionally and directly kill an innocent human being, as it’s an injustice to the unborn child.

But with all moral battles, there’s always a different perspective.

You may hold anti- abortion views maybe due to your religious, moral, cultural and personal standards and beliefs but I believe that in order for this agenda of yours to carry weight and be sustainable, you must be willing to shift direction and expand your agenda.

Okay let me break this down!

You need to support policies and programs that empower people, so that they do not end up in compromising situations where they are forced to have abortions.

You can’t be anti- abortions but refuse for us to teach sex-education to children and teenagers, because if they are not taught, they lack the appropriate knowledge that empowers them to make informed decisions about their sex life.

Also, you can’t be anti- abortion and restrict us from educating and accessing birth controls and contraceptives, since making these services available allow women to ensure they get pregnant at the right conditions.

Do you support and advocate for adoption and frown upon economic injustice? Keeping in mind that the poorer one gets, the more likely they are to choose an abortion; as we are made aware that one of the two most common reasons women choose abortion is because they cannot afford a child (Alan Guttmacher Institute) .

What are your beliefs regarding single parents or children born out of wedlock? Do you shame and stigmatize them or create a healthy space for them to live their truth?

Many people, who identify as pro-life, tend to focus solely on the birth of the child, and not the well-being of that child which signifies to me that they are more pro-birth than pro-life. If one is pro-life, I believe that they should focus not on just restricting women reproductive rights but also take interest on the well-being of all living beings regardless of who they are and how different they are from you.

There are thousands of children being abused with some roaming the streets unattended and many dying from malnutrition and living in abject poverty; so as you fight for one to be born, you must also protect people rights to live a full life.

This means that you do not need to support abortion for you to fully grasp the reason why there is a need for health care centers that provide these services in a clean and healthy environment with the right personals; as countless research have shown that the lack of proper abortion services, increases the mortality rate as women are forced to patronize back street abortion clinics.

It is because of this that I believe that it is a greater injustice to deprive women of access to these services especially when we are fully aware of the repercussions of such actions.

And I hate to view the world from the lens where many of us believe that people who uphold anti-abortion views desperately want to control a woman’s body and future; by forcing women who have unwanted pregnancies to live with the consequences of their actions as a kind of punishment for what they have done.

But I will be naïve to believe that this train of thought is foreign and does not exist; as there are people who uphold this unhealthy idea that’s detrimental to both the health of the unborn child and mother.

Tackling abortion in Africa especially Nigeria requires that we look past the normal interventions suggested by the West but look within to create solutions to mirror our own realities.

A lady I believe that’s doing great work in this regard is the On- Air Presenter Dr Yolanda N George – David. She runs a foundation– Aunt Landa Bethel Foundation -which partners with local clinics, where they believe young women go to carry out illegal abortions.

Her foundation informs the doctor to first refer them to the Foundation before conducting the procedure. The foundation trains them on skill acquisition and provides them with a monthly stipend; however before the girl decides if she wants to keep the child, they ensure that they have had an intimate discussion with her to let her know that she will get all the support she desires if she keeps the baby.

This approach by Dr. Yolanda is a practical approach to combat abortion. She recognized that people were less likely to carry a baby if they didn’t have the right funds or skills that enable them make money in order to carter to the need of the child.

These are strategies to combat abortions that should be studied and replicated across different states especially in our Religious centres- as pro-life advocates need to expand their agenda to tackle the underlying issues on why people have abortions and also address the morality of pro-life.

So tell me what you think about abortion in Africa and ways you believe we can tackle it. I know this is a delicate conversation to have as we all have our morals and beliefs regarding it but I believe the way forward is to bring it to the forefront and engage in an open honest conversation.

 

 

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Postpartum Depression and Omugwo

How Urbanization Negatively Affects Pregnant African Women

Lately I have been very intrigued by how urbanization and the vast development we all are witnessing affect our mental health. I know that urbanization has some positive impacts but some of the impacts of this development come with negative effects like unemployment, immigration, change of family dynamic, crime, increased stress, poor social network etc.

However, my focus on this article is on how urbanization have affected the family dynamic and in turn led to the increase of Post-Partum Depression (PPD) in societies where western cultures were not practiced.

Research have shown that some of the psycho-social risk factors that give rise to postpartum depression is the lack of social support – with the highest risk factor being the lack of paternal involvement.  This is a clear sign that there’s a need for men to be entitled to paternity leave as well, but with urbanization and the increase of unemployment due to lack of resources and jobs to meet the needs of the populace; the men are often forced to keep working in order to generate funds to sustain the family.

In Africa and some Asian cultures, the family was once seen as a community; motherhood was not viewed as a private affair, but due to urbanization, we see the rise of nuclear family structures which means that new mothers are often times denied the opportunity to benefit from the large social network.

This is why the lack of paternal involvement as one of the highest risk factor is very intriguing to me; I believe that this is due to the fact that men have also been forced to take up roles that kinship usually embraced. This gap in the support becomes evident in one way.

If we take China as an example, after birth the woman is made to rest for four weeks whilst household chores and childcare is carried out by the women’s mother/ relatives.

The same thing is evident in many parts in Nigeria.  In Igboland, we have the Omugwo ritual – where the mother of the woman or a relative is there to care for the woman and child. In the Northern lands, the woman goes back to her parents’ home after delivery to be cared for by her mother for a few months before going back to be with her husband. In the Yoruba land, the postpartum ritual Olojojo Omo , demands that both the mother and the mother in law are present to care for the mother and child. The mother of the woman leaves after 40 days, whilst the mother in law remains till after naming ceremony or even up to 3 months depending on their lifestyle.

This postpartum ritual also found in other countries that did not practice western cultures was not limited to just the mother and mother in laws as other women who made up the extended family were present to help care for the nursing mother and child.

The ritual helps cushion the shock and effect of the transition for young parents which reduces the anxiety that comes with parenthood- as research shows that first time mothers are often at a higher risk of PPD- I guess our ancestors were not as clueless as many have painted them to be.

However, with urbanization we see a decline of these practices and an increase in the use of orthodox medicine. It is no secret that we continue to witness a rise in the use of anti-depressants- as doctors also prescribe these drugs for children and teenagers.

Now! I am not calling for a ban of these drugs, I am aware that they work but to what extent? Do we think about the adverse effects that come with pumping our bodies with drugs? If there is research that shows that social support could help reduce the risk factors that leads to PPD, why are we not also focused on strategies that aim to improve social support for nursing mothers?

Let me go into details with the Omugwo ritual.

Continue reading Postpartum Depression and Omugwo

LOVING TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME

Recently someone asked me who I loved more- My mom or my dad. This question is one I find interesting because it carries a belief that love can be quantified- that you can choose who you love more.

But I believe love cant be quantified, so I replied.. I don’t love anyone more.. I just love them differently. My love for mom stems from a place of admiration and friendship but my dad, it stems from a place of gratitude and appreciation.

So when I hear people say you can’t love two people at the same time.. I smile.. Because you can!! These two people bring out different parts of you and appeal to two different sides of you.

This is where functionality comes in. Which one is necessary at the moment. If it’s marriage- Who posses traits that you believe is needed for your marriage to excel.

For example,you can choose to be with someone where you have intellectual debates because at the moment you seek mental and emotional growth Or you could decide that these intellectual debates could be gotten somewhere else, as you just want someone that shares the same upbringing as me. You want to be with someone where there’s a certain level of familiarity. That’s a choice, doesn’t mean you love one more. It just means at that moment you thinking of functionality.

I speak more about loving two people and functionality in this video..
Please watch and share..

I want to know if you share the same sentiment..

 

HOW TO SEDUCE LIKE A YORUBA DEMON 

I have always wondered what kind of voodoo that men who are referred to as Yoruba Demons possess in order to charm women; as even with the gut wrenching feeling reminding you that they are no good, it seems almost impossible to resist them.

I am aware that the name “Yoruba Demon” is a stereotype that seeks to group a certain tribe as promiscuous; however do keep in mind that I am not focused on the tribe but zooming in on how men who are known to break hearts constantly find women who are willing to risk it all for them.

So! I believe the big questions are – What and Who exactly is a Yoruba Demon.
A Yoruba demon is the ultimate Casanova. He is a smooth talker who knows exactly how to make a woman fall head over heels in love with him, allowing him to conquer the hearts of many women at the same time. They are very slick which means that they always find ways to absolve themselves of any responsibility.

However, contrary to popular opinion, a Yoruba demon could also be a woman and sometimes a leader who needs to charm a group into following his/her ideals; because remember the emblem of the Yoruba demon is the fact that people know that they might hurt them but still find them irresistible.

Because I am a drama queen permit me to refer to their victims as preys!

The seduction trait the Yoruba demon demonstrates have been in existent for many years and for some it comes naturally but for others, it’s a learnt trait.
If you pick up the Robert Greene’s Book The Art Of Seduction aka my holy grail of seduction. The book opens up about the different types of seduction traits we have but I will be focusing on two that mirrors the seductive traits of the Yoruba Demon i.e The Charmers and Ideal Lovers

THE CHARMERS

The charmers tend to focus on things that arouse our sexuality; you know the aspect that we are often attracted and addicted to – people mistake this for the sex itself but that’s not the way to go. Charmers work on things like – focused attention, boosted self- esteem, pleasurable wooing and a deep understanding of your core. However, do keep in mind that all of these could be real or an illusion; but once you get addicted, it becomes very difficult to tell them apart.

The charmers trick is to make their prey fascinated by them and they do this by capturing their attention while lowering their powers of reason. This trick can only be successful when they target the things that their preys have the least control over such as their self – esteem, ego and vanity.
There are different steps that you can take to achieve this- but let’s go through a few.

1. MAKE YOUR TARGET THE CENTER OF ATTENTION
To be a Yoruba demon, you need to be willing to listen and learn about your prey. Let them talk about themselves; because as they open up, you learn about their strengths and most importantly their weaknesses. As you learn about their weaknesses, you them must then begin to tailor your flatteries to their insecurities; appealing to their specific needs and desires. So your prey spills that they are ashamed of the way they dress sometimes; your flatteries must then focus on how nicely they dressed.

Be careful not to bombard your prey with your flatteries so it doesn’t seem patronizing, rather make them as casual as possible as it heightens the effect. This makes your prey feel good and also validates their sense of self-worth, in turn getting them addicted to you because they love how you make them feel

To crown this move; make public gestures – no matter how fake – to show your prey that you are unashamed and willing to do anything for them. Sometimes, strategically speak well or boast about them to friends and family when you know they can hear you but you act like you don’t know.

That been said, one mistake you must try not to make as an upcoming Yoruba demon is not to judge the book by its cover as they say that our personalities are often modelled by how we are treated, so if a person is defensive or argumentative in dealing with us, we tend to respond the same way.
The Yoruba demon knows not to mistake their prey’s exterior characteristics for reality, because the character they show may just be a reflection of the people they have met or a front disguising its opposite. This is why it’s imperative that you acquaint yourself with what lies underneath by allowing your preys become the centre of attention.

2. BE A SOURCE OF PLEASURE.
Honestly! People rarely want to hear about your troubles. People love to be the center of attention, so listen to your prey’s complaints but more importantly proffer a solution for them and if you can’t! Distract them from the problem by giving them pleasure and NO! Pleasure doesn’t just mean sex! Think outside of the box.

Imagine! If your prey was stressed and troubled about something and they call you; knowing that you will proffer a solution for them or make them forget about their worries even if it’s for a short while, don’t you think, you will be on speed dial? It is an open secret that we all seek an escape from real life, therefore once you are a source of pleasure for someone; you have successfully become their escape!

3. Lull Your Prey Into Ease and Comfort
The more relaxed and comfortable your prey is, the easier it is for you to make them do and act how you like. The Yoruba demon does this by mirroring their prey. We as humans are narcissistic in nature- we are drawn to people like us- who share similar tastes and values. As a Yoruba demon, you must act like you share the same values as them.
This could help answer the puzzle on why the Yoruba demon always seems so perfect, I guess it’s because they are basically a reflection of us.

4. Use the Demonic Power of Words To Sow Confusion
This is the trademark of the Yoruba demon. They have a way with words! As an upcoming Yoruba demon, you can make your prey listen to you by saying what they want to hear and fill their ears with what you know they find pleasant. Words have a huge effect on us; they drive the message in ways that sometimes actions can’t. This could be why you find women head over heels over a physically unattractive man; unaware that his secret weapons are his words.

I mean when you look at flattery which is seduction at its purest form, its essence isn’t to express truth or real feelings but to create an effect on the recipient.

In addition to the sweet words, the Yoruba demon knows that the promise of something wonderful has the power to hold you glued to them. To be a successful Yoruba demon you must learn to allow your preys daydream by not giving them too details as this ruins the suspense factor. Learn to talk about that wonderful thing that you know they desire like it’s already there; just waiting for them to step in!

So you can say “Imagine our home, 3 kids running around in the playroom; we sneak into the bedroom just because I can get enough of you….”
And just like that you have successfully created a picture.. Not a lot of details which allows them to daydream and add the other specifics.. The more they fantasize, the more addicted they get. It’s just like inception.

The second form of seductive trait the Yoruba demon emulates are the IDEAL LOVERS

IDEAL LOVERS
Just like the charmers, the ideal lovers learn to focus intensely on the other partner but do this because they are looking to find out what’s missing and what they are disappointed by.
Why! You might ask? Well this is because once they know what you are missing and seeking for; they morph themselves to fit that ideal. Incredibly Sneaky!

As humans, we all have an ideal of either what we would like to become or what the other person should be for us. For instance, we have someone who grew up in so much comfort but seeks rebellion or danger; their ideal will be to meet someone who is comfortable with being rebellious and in dangerous situations. They become attracted to the aura of the person because it fills that lack and need that they desire.

However, being an ideal lover is not for everyone because it can be demanding, as it takes a lot of observation, patience and time.
It demands such because you are looking for subtle cues that people use to reveal themselves. As a Yoruba demon, you must learn to ignore your prey’s words and conscious behaviour but focus on the tone of their voice, look in their eyes and gestures that seem to betray what their words won’t say.

There’s a story of a King who was known for having so many mistresses (This is not Solomon- calm down) This King had so many mistresses but known could ever satisfy his palette as he quickly disposed of them immediately he was done ravishing them.

Until one faithful day, he met a lady. The lady became his mistress but she was different. She quickly discovered that the king had a powerful inferiority complex – which many had not recognized and just like a Yoruba demon that she was, she used that piece of information to her advantage.
She could feel that the king desperately wanted to be great; as many people feel inwardly greater than they outwardly appear to the world – which means that inside of them, they feel like the best and greatest but in reality, it never adds up.

She made up her mind to become that lover that sparked the greatness in him. She said the things that increased his ego and using suspense as a tool, the king could not wait to see what she would say or do next. Before the King knew it, he was addicted to her and made her the Duchess of their town.
This lady saw past what many saw; the need to appeal to his better self and crushed ideals about himself and not focus on appealing to his physical side which is an amateur seduction technique.

I believe that we can safely say that the Ideal lover basically traps their prey by creating an illusion that they can only live their dream and desires through them.

Well! I hope were able to gather enough knowledge about the Yoruba demon and how they seduce and lure their preys. I do not believe any form of seduction is inherently evil; so one can learn how to seduce to catch the attention of the lady or man or group that they want in their lives.

So tell me in the comment section, if you know a Yoruba demon and what seduction traits have you caught them using on you.
If you are a Yoruba demon yourself- tell me your favorite trick . I would love to hear from you.

IF you are willing to watch the video on this- Promise its funnier with a visual ..Watch below

LIFE AS A 14 YEAR OLD WITH DOUBLE Ds

If your body developed faster than your age, you can testify that many adults especially family members tend to view you as older than your age. Hence they project behaviors and activities that they believe adults who have your body shape are engaging in. .

As an adult who mothers her younger sisters, I always have to be self aware when dealing with them especially since I see they are developing faster than their peers.

I recognized that our love and possessiveness for our loved ones can make us act and think irrationally due to fear of something bad happening to them. .

However, we must learn to hold our tongue and be mindful of our thoughts before we air them.

The kids do not see things from your perspective and will find it Incredibly difficult to analyze your actions in a way that benefits them.
They see you as strict and untrustworthy because of how you react. .\

So many things our parents did were out of love and care but was manifested in a way that didn’t seem that way..

Tell me in the comment section if you have gone through something similar..No way I am alone in this Lol 😊😊😊😊

 

 

 

VAGINA BLEACHING PANTIES

Ashamed of that Brownish- Reddish stain on your panties? Well! so am i LOL.. I decided to educate myself and my sisters out there why we have these stains and then we can decide if we should be ashamed or not.

I discovered that the stain is actually an indicator that our vaginas are functional..

Watch the video to learn more